STORY: CHRISTMAS MORNING

It was Christmas morning at my bar when all the girls were opening up their gifts...

And Anna got brand new packs of pantyhose from me.

And then she turns around and sees Deja Thoris walking in.

So Anna sees this and she gets all steamed.

Everybody's trying on all their stuff.

I thank G.L. and G.I. Julie for the new jacket - 

- and then Deja Thoris thanks me!

I'm in such shock that I'm getting smooched by Deja.

Anna sees this - 'That's my man. What are you doin'?' - and she gets catfight-ish thoughts in her head...

Deja wants me for Christmas. But my heart belongs to Anna - and it always will.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM MARWENCOL!

STORY: LEGENDS, PT 4

The saga of Hogie and Anna's assassination concludes with this week's episode...

They laid us in our bed so we can be viewed for the last time by all the townspeople.

Then Deja - the witch of Marwencol - she thinks she can help. 

And holding Anna and I's hands...

... like she would be the conductor to some kind of life electricity or something.

But that didn't work. And we still slept - Anna and I.

Meanwhile the SS are down stairs having drinks.

They're celebrating that the King and Queen of Marwencol are dead.

Now it's easy to take over the townspeople - they don't have any leaders or anything.

Then Anna and I stick our heads over the railing of the balcony.

We look down at the Nazis down there.

And they look up and they're just floored.

And Anna and I hug.

And the Nazis realize then that they can't kill me.

They can't kill Anna or I because we're going to live forever. We're immortal.

I won.

STORY: LEGENDS, PT 3

The "Legends" saga continues with the third of four installments. Hogie and Anna have been assassinated by the SS and now lay in Marwencol Church...

All of the Allies have Anna and I's dead bodies in the church. 

And they're trying to figure out how to get our bodies back to the bar without being shot at.

So Tod gets the idea of taking the blood from the bullet wounds on my body...

... and making red crosses on the white sheets.

That way the body carriers wouldn't get fired upon.

They scrounged up as many medical helmets as they could find.

And for the ones they couldn't find they painted the red crosses with Anna's and my blood.

They wanted to bring us back to Hogancamp's Catfight Club - my bar - so we could be on display.

The rest of town could walk by and pay their last respects to us -

 - the King and Queen of Marwencol...

TO BE CONTINUED...

STORY: LEGENDS, PT 2

The saga of Hogie and Anna's assassination continues with this week's episode - the second of four parts. To catch up on the action start with last week's episode.

So this Nazi posed as an American and he was gathering information from us.

Lots of Americans were dying because of this guy.

So he got put in front of the Marwencol firing squad.

And just as they're getting ready to fire - "Ready... Aim..." - 

- this Jeep comes pulling up.

It's my two brothers with Anna and I's dead bodies in there.

And of course everybody comes running over - the firing squad included.

Meanwhile this Nazi's buddy is prowling around and no one sees him.

He cuts his buddy free - 

And the bad guy gets away...

TO BE CONTINUED...

STORY: LEGENDS

On March 20th - which was my birthday - my brothers, my wife, and I went for a ride to the store.

This is the day that Anna and I became legends. 

To be written into history books as the King and Queen of Marwencol.

Of course he loads in another one because he's there to kill both of us.

And he hits Anna right in the heart.

My brorthers are hugging us and stuff and crying...

The King and Queen of Marwencol are dead.

TO BE CONTINUED!